UnHappy Father’s Day

It’s been a few days waiting for this little emotional roller coaster to come and it finally did.  My dad started with warmth…but then all these texts/ non responses from my dad really made me a bit agitated.

I guess I feel a bit depressed with how this year is different.  I know it’s a good thing for my well being and for my baby girl in the long run…but that’s the logic…not how I am feeling today at the moment though.  Tears won’t stop running.  Why is my dad not responding or even picking up a call?  I feel lonely, yet I don’t want to be where I could be.  I don’t want to be with a crowd/ at a party where I am invited but denied.  I wanted to see my dad for a quick lunch just to see him…but it seems like the step mom has his phone and he is just too busy to respond.

So instead of celebrating with Lilly and Dan like they suggested I am here…trying not to cry while I clean and organize…I am making more progress than usual/ than what I thought…it’s just a darn slow process and my darn friend whom was gonna help me have yet to tell me approximately when she would come.  I don’t like not knowing a time.  It is very irritating

It’s sad that those whom I thought would care seem to not care!  Why would my dad not pick up? FINE. I am done and not gonna call anymore. Completely upset!

I’ll figure things out…