If you ever stumble across this little diary of mine that serves as my safe place to rave and rant bout all that troubles me..here you go.
So, everything that is happening…know that it is your doing. Why am I doing what I am doing? It is because of your action.
I guess I do have to thank you for that though. If you are purposely trying to stress me out and rattle my family and all…guess what? We do work well under pressure and stress. The pain that you caused and trying to do…will only strengthen me and give me better focus.
As I was showering… A picture of a house came to mind. Our relationship is the house. It has been on an unstable foundation from the start. Our relationship is built on nothing but lies that you have kept from me. I gave you my heart and my everything…and you’ve crushed it countless times. I pleaded with you that if you are truly wanting my happiness as your priority like you swore…sign the papers! Easy as that. Your action shows what your mouth cannot say. You hired a lawyer to fight me. You asked how much is a fair rate for a lawyer. I trusted you and told you. You had to find a bigger and badder one than mine…to make me feel small. Thanks! Because, all I do feel is all the love and support… But not from you. I no longer have to consider your feelings, because you do not consider mine. Like it was in the beginning…it’s the same in the end. If it was the other way around…and you were the one unhappy and wanted to leave, even if I wanted you to stay…I would let you go if it would make you happier. I would take that sacrifice and better myself in ways I could. Too bad, we will never work and again you have proven that point. I questioned if I’m on the right track…thank you for confirming that. These will be my last tears for our dead relationship. If you don’t want a friendly divorce where we could talk, I guess the lawyers really could just mediate for us. Too bad…communication has always been our wall…and it’s just grown thanks to you. I don’t want to talk to you. I cannot trust you. You do not have my interest at heart and this shows you do not have any love for me. You are right…I guess you knew what you were doing and intended to do…that’s why you said my family will no longer support your business. I shouldn’t either if you are out to intentionally hurt me. I have always given you the benefit of the doubt…in just about everything you claim…then the truth will always come out bit by bit. How stupid you must see me!