So, once upon a time…I was a very shy and quiet girl whose only answers/responses were short yes/no answers.
Somewhere between the high school-college transition, my best friend opened me up and I started talking more! What was compromised? Maybe I started to lose the ability to talk less and listen more? Do I need to revert back to my former self?
This past few weeks were extremely stressful with the A/T incident and just the realization that maybe the pink colored glasses I have on really needs to be taken off. Am I self centered and selfish like what T said? All I really want is to be happy and chasing after what I feel is right.
I’m so glad to have a girlfriend that understands me to then extent that I need. Having an ear and the feet to dance away depression or stress is something that I’ve put on the back burner for say 10 years. I know, if I’m married then of course I wouldn’t be going out as much as I am now. I am single, and it’s ok. I am responsible on that I don’t go out unless baby’s with her dad on his weekend.
My baby is my priority, but when she’s not with me I do need to try to focus on myself too and give me what I need. Instead of staying home and sulking on why I am in an empty house, empty rooms, not having my child with me…and feeling all alone. I like being with people, talking, doing fun activities that cost nothing like dancing. It’s a workout, healthy, burn much needed calories (since I eat like a pig) and is more fun than sitting at home watching TV and munching on junk. I could easily be a couch potato, get fat and plummet into more depression. I chose to not go that route!
Even if you’re the one who filed for divorce, it’s not easy and there is still much sadness involved. I’m glad to have those that entered my life during much needed time to be a friend, a shoulder, an ear, etc. I guess there will always be people entering, people leaving, and life will get busy for us all.
Ciao diary. Gotta get my butt to work!